All the fun of the FetLife

Dearest little quin

My meatspace friends will attest to what would have happened if someone I didn’t know had said anything like this to my face. Clue: carnage would ensue. Even my kitten persona is a vicious fucker. “Little”, indeed. Small in stature I may be, but I am not little.

I see that you are looking for some assistance with your personal development in the form of an (initially online) Master.

Where’d you read that? It sure as hell wasn’t my profile. Yeah, I’m looking to meet a dominant. I think I’m doing a pretty good job of managing my “personal development” on my own, thanks. And I cannot possibly verbalise how much I am over that whole “initially online” thing. My relationships will be in meatspace, or they will not be.

A lady Domme and I have just decided to recruit a young, local subgirl as a joint project and wondered if you may like to apply for the position?

Things I am: Young. (Fun fact – our correspondent is 43, according to his profile. Bet you’d never have guessed!)

Things I may be: Local.

Things I am not: A submissive; a girl (even if I was cis, I would be a grown-ass woman); a “project”; interested in undergoing a “recruitment” process (I’m having quite enough, ah, fun with recruitment in my vanilla professional life as it is).

Please respond immedaitely, outlining any experience you may have to date in the field together with your location. Our intention is to begin with remote-control (online/ phone/ etc) and move into real world if the right candidate should shine for us!

Experience in the field, huh? You want to know about the abusive fuckwads I’ve dated who talked just the same way you do? Sure, go ahead. How do you like that for a covering letter? I bet you work in HR.

Things I am also not: a robot, a toy car, a television, or any other kind of automaton that can be activated by remote control. I am a person, with flesh and bones and lungs and feelings and far too many books.

Please respond now.

No. Fuck off. And learn to spell.

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